2011 AFC Preview: And so again, is it the Steelers?
My man Cameron came up with this format, and in terms of not having to deeply analyze every team, I friggin' love it. We'll go division-by-division, touching on the basics you need to know, a couple of dudes, and a good bar for in-division action. Ready? Let's dance.
AFC East
This one is a weird 2-2 stack: two elite teams (Pats, Jets) and two basically horrible teams (Bills, Dolphins); phrased another way, you have two squads who could play for Lombardi and two who are ostensibly playing for Andrew Luck. Basic issues: can the Pats win another playoff game ever? (You know they're gonna get there; the issue is what happens when.) Can Mark Sanchez develop, along with Shonn Greene, so that the Jets can win an AFC Championship game in part because of their offense? Is Stevie Johnson of the Bills the next Ochocinco in terms of stupid-ass things when he scores? And, can the Fins win more than two games? (That's a very legitimate, and heartbreakingly honest, query.)
MVP Of This Jam: Tom Brady. His numbers won't be as gaudy, but the dude has a lot of options every time he drops back.
Winner: Patriots. Jets probably make it as a wild card.
Bar: Hairy Monk for Pats stuff, anything under the sun for Jets stuff, Third and Long for Dolphins stuff, and Kelly's Sports Bar or McFadden's for Bills. You're probably gonna be able to get part of this division's games on any TV in Manhattan if you're just casually cruising around.
AFC North
This thing is another 2-2 split: Steelers and Ravens are Super Bowl elite, Browns are "rising" but probably will finish 8-8, and the Bengals could be the worst team in the entire NFL. Good news for Cleveland/Cincy: they draw the NFC West this season. That might be a few Ws, eh? Key questions: is the Steelers' D getting too old? Is Balto's? Is Pat Shurmur going to be able to develop Colt McCoy with the head coaching responsibilities he now has? And, uh, is Andy Dalton red down below too? Sorry, I couldn't think of anything else relevant about the Bengals. I honestly couldn't. OK, here's one: when does Benson serve his jail time? Zing. Cheap shot.
MVP Here: Big Ben. Morally, I'm opposed to this selection, but he has a lot of dudes at WR this season -- it's probably going to be his best statistical season ever. A second choice here would be Joe Flacco. If he makes necessary strides, they could win the AFC.
Winner: Steelers, but Ravens likely also make the playoffs. Don't buy this age stuff. Buy it next year. You ever try to block Haloti Ngata? I'd imagine it's a challenge.
Bars: Croxley Ales, Blondie's, Angels and Kings work for Steelers; Wharf or Molly Pitcher's for Ravens; Phebe's for Browns (and Bengals), and yes, YES, McGee's on 55th and Broadway for Bengals. Also have seen Off the Wagon as a Bengals spot.
AFC South
If Peyton Manning is legitimately really messed up, someone needs to win this thing. It should be the Texans, but they can't close worth a damn. It could be the Titans, with a veteran QB and perhaps the best RB in football. It's not going to be the Jags, where Jack Del Rio will get canned. Basic Qs: is Manning out for a long time? Can Wade Phillips and two new secondary players fix the Texans' D? Is Hasselbeck too old to hit Kenny Britt in stride? Why would you cut your starting QB four days before your opening game?
MVP Here: Andre Johnson. Dude's gonna do it, especially when Ben Tate replaces Arian Foster as the man out of that backfield.
Winner: Texans. No one else making the playoffs.
Bars: Keat's for the Colts; Idle Hands for the Texans; Side Bar for Titans; and yes, there is a Jaguars' group at Rumors on 8th Avenue.
AFC West
I bought a Kansas City Chiefs shirt this off-season, so obviously I'm all in. Here's the thing, though: the Chargers had the best offense in football last year AND THE BEST DEFENSE. If they get anything out of special teams, they'll win this division. They might win the whole damn AFC. Key queries: who is SD's RB? Is Matt Cassel healthy/how can the Chiefs deal with that tough of a schedule? Are the Raiders "on the rise" or are they gonna flop? And, uh, what was John Fox thinking with this job?
MVP Here: Philip Rivers. May be the MVP of the entire damn thing.
Winner: Chargers. Ain't no one else making the playoffs. I'll wear that shirt until my girlfriend throws it out, though (O/U: Week 11).
Bars: Still, M.J. Armstrong's, Touchdowns for Chargers; Village Pourhouse for Chiefs; The Watering Hole and Dillon's for the Raiders; and Butterfield 8 for the Broncos. Side note: if you live in Astoria, there's one stoned kid who comes out to every game at Irish Rover (38th Street and 28th Avenue) wearing Raiders stuff, so that's an option too.
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