Getting ready for Mavericks-Heat with Florida-Texas battles
The 2011 NBA Finals start Tuesday night. On Monday, we'll actually talk in detail about the series, where to watch it, and all that (our bread and butter, if you will). One quick thought here of import, though: in the end, cream rises to the top. Remember in November when people were like, "THE SUPER TEAM ISN'T WORKING!!!" Yea. That was idiotic. Did you really think a team with three big stars, including one who absolutely needs multiple rings for any type of legacy, was going to fade when it mattered? Naw. Karma's a bitch, indeed, but karma ain't seen a lot of D-Wade off a pick and roll either. Anyway, more on that -- and yes, Dirk, and our friend's plans to make "DIRKA DIRKA" t-shirts and sell them outside the NBA Finals -- on Monday.
For now, one way to get into the series: famed "battles" between institutions from Florida and those from Texas. Obviously, these are both football states first and foremost, so it was kinda weird there's never been a BCS title game between a team from Texas and a team from Florida directly (it coulda happened a bunch of times, but never actually has). There is a high school football showcase between the two states, and Super Bowl VI was Cowboys vs. Dolphins, but you'd really think Mack Brown and Urban Meyer coulda gotten this dance party started at some point, eh? Oh well. Before we dive in, one note of comedy: when thinking about this list, we repeatedly said to ourselves, "The Marlins are the only MLB team in Florida, right?" We believed it for a long while. Apparently while the Rays have made a World Series more recently than the Fish, they don't have much resonance in our pre-7am existence.
The Battle for Will Muschamp
Wasn't so much a battle as Muschamp was supposed to coach Texas, got tired of Mack Brown hanging out, and dipped out to run his own show at Florida. Since he hasn't been CEO of an organization yet, the jury's still out on whether this was a good move. Big 12 < SEC for the next several years, though (read: eternity), so Muschamp's path to a BCS title game, at the very least, would have been easier out of Austin. But with Charlie Weis in the fold, maybe he does some junk down in G-Ville. Ha. Charlie Weis and colleges. That's worked out well consistently.
The Bush Brothers
One was governor of Texas, became President. One was governor of Florida, and because his brother was President and done f'ed it up, he now can't run for President, even though the 2012 GOP field is about as weak on talent as a train station bar. You think Jeb isn't resentful of George? You don't know jack about family dynamics then, friend. This is a battle -- and at No. 41's funeral, it may just bubble over. I crossed any number of lines in writing this paragraph, eh?
Cowboys vs. Dolphins
This game was a rout -- Cowboys 24, Dolphins 3 -- but it's culturally significant in that it was the first title for Dallas, which is now, for some reason, called "America's Team." Always thought "America's Team" should come from a more central place (i.e. the Bears) or a legitimately central place (i.e the Rams, who play at the midpoint of America), and shouldn't be a team best known for a bunch of drug addicts and whatnot, but you know, you win some, you lose some in thinking about the world through a prism of football. If you want highlights from the contest, dive in:
Music
Hadn't really thought about this until we stumbled across this article, but ya know what? It's worth discussing. You might automatically assume the winner is Texas, because of SXSW and all that, but let's consult the stats. Caveat: this is very hard, because it depends how you evaluate music. Texas has Austin, which in and of itself wins its points, and it has the Houston hip-hop scene (Paul Wall, Scarface, Geto Boys), and Dallas' Deep Ellum area has a pretty rich history, including Blind Willie Johnson, T-Bone Walker, and Stevie Ray Vaughn. Also notable: The Toadies, Okkervil River, and yes, Vanilla Ice are all from Tejas.
To Florida now: Trick Daddy, Rick Ross, Flo Rida, Matchbox 20, Creed, T-Pain, Dashboard Confessional, and a hell of a lot of tribute bands in the Tampa area. (You can link Weezy to Miami if you want, for the sake of this discussion, and that would give FL back a few points.)
We're not gonna call a winner here, but it's a good debate on the side if any of these six or seven games get boring.
The Battle For The Right To Be Most South
Is this even a real thing? (No.) Check this, though: we've been to a McDonald's in Brownsville, Texas, which claims it is the "south-most" (not a word) city in America. (We got a McFlurry, if you care. It tasted like shit.) We've also been to a bar in St. Augustine, which also claims to be the "southernmost" (+1 to Florida for grammar) city in America. So what is it? To Google! Well, well, well. If you're going all 50 states, it's Hawaii -- here , to be exact. In the lower 48 (what the f*ck does 'contiguous' really mean?), it's Ballast Key, Florida -- and big city wise, it's Miami. So Florida racks this one up.
Let us know what we missed -- football-wise, food, sexual mores, etc. -- in the comments. We'll be back Monday to discuss karma, Dirk's legacy, and the unheralded role of J.J. Barea.
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