28 Horse Racing Terms To Know
Horse Terms
(1) Pedigree: The details of a horse's ancestry, often shown as a family tree. Also a snooty word to say in bar settings, i.e. "That guy lacks pedigree," although technically, if you're going to use the word "pedigree," you should probably say "that chap lacks pedigree," because you're already a flaming d-bag.
(2) Stud Book: A official record of the pedigrees of purebred horses; you need one to buy a horse. Also: insert your own joke here. This is way too easy.
(3) Breed: An equine group whose members have been selectively bred for consistent characteristics over a period of time and with pedigrees recorded in a stud book. Quite possibly the name of a professional wrestling stable at some point.
(4) Thoroughbred: A horse specifically bred for racing that can trace their lineage back to three original sires. These sires are: Darley Arabian, Godolphin Arabian, Byerley Turk. That's pretty cool, eh? New information is fun. Three horses started it all.
(5) Broodmare: Female horse used for breeding purposes.
(6) Stallion: Ungelded (non-castrated; whew!) male horse used specifically for breeding. Also lame way to describe male sexual prowess, or Sly Stallone from 1976 to 1983, but not a second after.
(7) Dam: The female parent of a horse. See also: "mother, mommy, social archetypes, weird things to say while hooking up."
(8) Sire: The male parent of a horse. Rinse, wash and repeat on above joke.
(9) Foal: A horse under one year old. See also: "toddler, baby, infant, good way to describe Isla Fisher."
(10) Yearling: A horse which is one year old. They get damn specific with horse designations, eh? Gawd.
(11) Colt: Ungelded male horse under five years of age. Also: team that choked a lot, finally won Super Bowl, now seems too old to do anything remotely relevant.
(12) Filly: Female horse under five years old that has not been bred. Also: spelled differently, a form of smoking ganga made popular by the music of Method Man, among others. Also: spelled differently, city with good educational institutions and ass-buck-crazy sports fans.
(13) Juvenile: A two year old horse, or generally-subpar rapper.
(14) Gelding: Castrated male horse. That's what she said.
(15) Horse: Ungelded male horse five years old or older. Also: Renee Zellweger.
(16) Mare: Female horse five years old or older, or younger if bred. Also: Nora Ephron.
Betting Terms
(17) Across the Board: A bet on a horse to win, place and show. If the horse wins, the player collects three ways; if second, two ways; and if third, one way, losing the win and place bets. Also: good end to any self-deprecating statement as in, "Damn, my life is depressing ... across the board." Induces sympathy.
(18) Boxed Bet: Betting all possible combinations in a multi-horse wager such as exacta or trifecta (we'll define those in a second). Also: what drunk guys say when they're trying to say "box chow."
(19) Exacta: A wager in which the first two finishers in a race, in exact order of finish, must be picked. If you nail this, you will think you're smart, but in actuality, you're lucky, thus equating you to Lindsay Lohan's career.
(20) In the Money: Finishing first, second or third. Semi-ironic thing to say in current economic climate. Word choice FAIL.
(21) On the Nose: Betting a horse to win only. Sidenote: you ever seen a couple nose-kiss? That is the single most offensive thing two people in a relationship can do. It would be preferable to copulate in public. Whoa, that was a tangent.
(22) Overlay: A horse going off at a higher price than he appears to warrant based on his past performances. Also see: Reese Witherspoon's per-movie fee.
(23) Parlay: Using the winnings from one bet to place the next bet. Also see: "So, you can't pay your cell phone bill this month."
(24) Quinella: Wager in which first two finishers must be picked, but payoff is made no matter which of the two wins and which runs second. Also see: "you're kind of a p*ssy."
(25) Superfecta: A wager where you have to pick the first four finishers in exact order. This is almost as impossible as "The Roomate Switch."
(26) Tout: Person who professes to have, and sells, advance information on a race. Also see: Carmelo Anthony DVD, "Snitches get stitches."
(27) Trifecta: A wager picking the first three finishers in exact order. This is something you bet almost solely to impress the person you're on line with, even though you're completely in over your head. "Yea, I'll take 'No More Fat Chicks' 1, then 'She's Easy' 2, and I'll round it out with ... uh .... um .... yeaaaaa .... OK .... 'Date More Minors.' Yea, that's the ticket." You're a clown.
(28) Underlay: A horse racing at longer odds than he should. Also: Laura San Giacomo and Liam Neeson. Google it, fool.
Join the Discussion