The 2009 NBA Finals Drinking Game
We'll get the absolute basics out of the way first:
1. Most people wanted this to be Kobe vs. LeBron. It is obviously not.
2. As of Monday morning, June 8, the series is 2-0 Lakers. While the call of the person writing this is LAL in five, it could theoretically be over in 4. So, you may only have 2 games left to experiment with this stuff.
3. Because Where We Watch is a website dedicated to finding the best bars for viewing experience, this drinking game has to be something that can be done, in a semi-reputable nature, inside a bar. You could play it at home, but really, it'll be more fun if you take it to the pub.
There are 10 rules. They are very basic. Print it out, cram it in your pocket, and then smooth it out along the mahogany. You're ready for fun:
(1) Anytime Phil Jackson and Red Auerbach are mentioned in the same sentence (this will happen a lot once the Lakers have 3 wins in the series), drink for 10 seconds. (Get it? 10 rings? Ah ha.)
(2) Anytime Stan Van Gundy is shown looking angry or flustered, drink for 1 second. (If this was a higher number, we'd need to include a hospital map at the bottom of this post.)
(3) Anytime there is a promo for "Year One," drink for 1 second. Anytime during said promo you realize that Harold Ramis directed that movie, then say to yourself, "Jeez, he's fallen pretty far from National Lampoon's Vacation and Groundhog Day," drink for another 2 seconds.
(4) Anytime Mark Jackson and Jeff Van Gundy "playfully pretend" to hate each other, drink for 5 seconds.
(5) Anytime Mike Breen accidentally calls Jeff Van Gundy "Stan" or vice versa (has already happened in this series), drink for five seconds.
(6) Whenever anyone associated with the game in any way -- be it pre-game, during game, or taped vignette -- blows a ton of smoke up Kobe Bryant's rear end, regardless of how justified it may be, drink for 8 seconds. (In honor of his one-time number.)
(7) The money shot: any cutaways to a dejected David Stern in the crowd, clearly wondering what happened in the Eastern Finals for him to deserve this fate, gets you 20 seconds of drinking.
(8) Celebrity cutaways: for A-listers in Los Angeles, drink 1 second each. For B-listers, drink 2 seconds each. Kevin James? 5 seconds. In Orlando, Tiger Woods gets you 1 second, Lil Wayne gets you 2 seconds, and anyone else defined as a 'celebrity' by the broadcast team gets you 3 seconds.
(9) When the Lakers get to 3 wins in the series, drink for 1 second every time in a clinching game that "Kobe" and "Shaq" are said in the same sentence as "without him," "legacy," or "fourth title." (This will get you very f'ed up.)
(10) Anytime Stuart Scott tosses to a pre-recorded feature by referencing how close he is with the player being profiled ("that's my man," etc), drink for 5 seconds.
If you've got anything to add that would help out, let us know in da comments.
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