The 2011 All Star Drinking Game (not sponsored by State Farm)

• By Cameron on Thursday, July 7, 2011
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It takes something really special to get Jordin Sparks to dust of her whatever-the-hell-she-wears, but the semi-famous, semi-diva will sing the National Anthem to kick off this year’s All-Star game in Arizona.

What's all this fuss about? Well for most pro ballers it's about 3 much-needed days of rest. For the lucky few that get to play, there is actually a means to the end. The winner earns their league home field advantage in the World Series. This rule was imposed after 2002, when Bud Selig won the "buzz-kill of the year" award by calling a game a tie after both teams ran out of pitchers, which may have incited a riot if it wasn't happening in the unceasingly dull city of Milwaukee.

So that is how the chips fall, and you will watch for that reason. But what kind of guy would I be if I didn't hit you with some drinking rules that will leave you an undisclosed number of sheets to the wind?

1 Drink whenever Joe Buck and Tim McCarver make a reference to rivals, or players from rival cities playing together on the same team. Bonus drink if it reminds them of how much they like the All Star game. Double bonus drink if it's about Rodriguez and Ortiz and how they are top secret friends.

1 Drink for every “Postseason on FOX commercial” they show. Make it two if it's for the World Series.

1 Drink for every base that Jose Reyes steals, and another for every hoagie that player Prince Fielder steals from FOX craft services.

3 Drinks every time you think about how totaled you are going to be at work tomorrow because inexplicably, the game is on a Tuesday.

1 Drink for every celebrity shown in the stands, and make it a deux if they have been romantically involved with Derek Jeter.

Finally, take a shot if you get the alliterative pitching face off of Jair Jurrjens and Gio Gonzalez.

So there you have your key for the All Star game. That should cover your Tuesday night all the way up to the ill-advised post-game trip to Taco Bell.

 

Here are our picks for the best watering hole to take in the action.

Where We're Watching