Where We Watch’s 2010 Bowl Guide
There are a lot of cheesy puns one can use to write about bowl season. "Bowled Over" comes to mind first, and in reality, that might be the only cheesy pun I'm thinking of -- but whatever, it's time to talk about bowls. First, a treatise on growing up.
Many people argue that the newer bowl schedule has corrupted January 1st, which used to be among the best sporting days of the year. I semi-agree with this, in that I would like Oregon vs. Auburn to be the night game on January 1, as opposed to Connecticut vs. Oklahoma, but at the same time -- Jan. 1 is pretty solid. There are three Big Ten vs. SEC games at 1pm that all have some form of intrigue, be it Nick Saban, Urban Meyer, or Rich Rodriguez's future. That's cool. Wisconsin vs. TCU isn't the most geographically stimulating matchup revenue-wise, but should be a good game. Oklahoma can lose a Fiesta Bowl almost at a moment's notice. Should be a good day.
What sucks about the bowl season of late is the rapid expansion: there are way too many bowls, and most people couldn't tell you one or two interesting things in probably 3/4 of them. The names can be fun -- Poulan Weed Eater, Beef O' Brady's, etc. -- but we could probably slide back the total number by about 12 and, while you'd miss out on a bunch of eight-win teams making bowls, you'd have a cooler overall experience (we think).
However, the Almighty Dollar done prevails every time, so ... we have no leg to stand on. Rather, let's start talking bowls:
New Mexico Bowl
UTEP vs. BYU
Miners vs. Mormons! If that doesn't get you hyped for the start of bowl season, who knows what will? Seriously, the coolest thing about this game is that Mike Price still coaches football, even after getting a hooker to yell "ROLL TIDE!" as she boffed him as the coach of Alabama. How you recover from a PR situation of that magnitude is fairly stunning.
Humanitarian Bowl
Northern Illinois vs. Fresno State
Pat Hill, a Bill Belichick disciple guy, has a nice 'stache. Northern Illinois is where Garrett Wolfe went. When that dude hit the NFL, like six "fantasy experts" told us he'd be a great steal for your squad. They were all wrong, and disgusting liars in the process.
New Orleans Bowl
Ohio vs. Troy
No idea, but Jerel Jenegan -- Troy WR -- is apparently pretty dope. If Ohio was coached by a younger brother Jim Tressel's family had locked up in the basement i.e. some opera, that'd be a pretty cool storyline. Otherwise, pass.
Beef O' Brady's Bowl
Southern Miss vs. Louisville
6-6 this year for Louisville, and Pitt just made a likely ill-advised hire in grabbing a potentially one-year wonder in Mike Haywood. Basically, Charlie Strong can probably win the Big East next year -- and in so doing, he'll attach himself to every job that may be opening next winter. Everyone views the Big East as a coaching bargain bin for football. Sad.
Las Vegas Bowl
Utah vs. Boise State
It's amazing that one field goal kicker choke job can make you fall this far.
San Diego County Credit Union Poinsettia Bowl
Navy vs. San Diego State
Great bowl name. Seems kinda unfair San Diego State gets to play here. Also kinda stunning that Brady Hoke, their coach, told his boss (the university president) that his ultimate goal was to coach Michigan. Is candor really valued in this world?
Hawaii Bowl
Hawaii vs. Tulsa
The scoreboard operator's hand is gonna get carpal tunnel in this jam.
Little Caesar's Bowl
FIU vs. Toledo
Yawn. Although, Mario Cristobal is a good story.
Independence Bowl
Air Force vs. Georgia Tech
These teams both underachieved in 2010. Georgia Tech runs the ball way more than any offense designed by a human and not a machine with directly pre-programmed codes to run the ball should actually do so. Anyone remember when GT basically won it all in 1990? That was the first slate of bowl games I watched. Misty, water-colored memories...
Champs Sports Bowl
WVU vs. NC State
Bill Stewart's getting a raw deal from Andrew Luck's papa, Oliver. Meanwhile, Russell Wilson comes back next year (not sure he will) and you gotta have him as a lead Heisman darkhorse. That dude is pretty good. Is Noel Devine still in college? If so, whoa.
Insight Bowl
Missouri vs. Iowa
Half of Iowa's team is suspended, so this is probably gonna be a rout. Kirk Ferentz is gonna get a "dirty" label much sooner than anyone thinks.
Military Bowl
East Carolina vs. Maryland
Again, pass. Maryland football is at the KILL IT WITH FIRE stage. They just lost their OC, they haven't been relevant since Shawne Merriman was there, and ... the ACC is just ugh.
Texas Bowl
Illinois vs. Baylor
Robert Griffin III is damn fast. Ron Zook is damn awkward. Should be a pretty boring game, those two things aside.
Alamo Bowl
Oklahoma State vs. Arizona
I had this as my "best pre-January 1 bowl" when the matchups first came out ... but then I realized Arizona imploded down the stretch, and despite the fact their head coach is named 'Stoops,' they couldn't stop anyone. Failz. Okie State should hang about 40 plus here. Justin Blackmon's gonna have a '3' in the 100s place of his yardage total. Armed Forces Army vs. SMU How am I still writing about bowls and haven't even approached Jan. 1 yet?
Pinstripe Bowl
Kansas State vs. Syracuse
The d-bag level of a bunch of drunk 'Cuse kids, in the freezing cold, at Yankee Stadium will set new world records. If there are any K-State fans here, ugh. We pray for you.
Music City Bowl
North Carolina vs. Tennessee
In September, if everything had gone right (read: not illegally), NC's in the Orange Bowl probably. Tennessee is lucky to be here, but in two-three years, that team'll be nice.
Holiday Bowl
Nebraska vs. Washington
This will be the final "Jake Locker falls disparingly into the 20s for the 2011 NFL Draft" moment of the year.
Car Care Bowl
South Florida vs. Clemson
You can make an argument that since 2000, the most disappointing BCS program in terms of what resources they have vs. what they produce is Clemson. Hell, I am making that argument. Skip Holtz's team rolls into a promising 2011.
Sun Bowl
Notre Dame vs. Miami
CATHOLICS VS. CONVICTS!! And get this: last year's Sun Bowl teams, Oklahoma and Stanford? Both in BCS games this year. Just sayin'...
Liberty Bowl
Georgia vs. UCF
Remember above, when I said Charlie Strong would be a candidate for a lot of gigs that open next year? I meant UGA.
Chick Fil-A Bowl
South Carolina vs. FSU
SPURRIER BOWL! JIMBO GEARS UP FOR RECRUITING BATTLES BOWL! SOMETHING TO HAVE ON IN THE BACKGROUND OF YOUR NYE PARTY BOWL!
TicketCity Bowl
Northwestern vs. Texas Tech
If Dan Persa was playing, this game is a little bit cooler. He's not. The wide disparity in likely annual salaries of graduates of these two institutions is something to reference as you nurse your hangover.
Outback Bowl
PSU vs. Florida
One of these coaches is retiring... The other is Joe Paterno.
Capital One Bowl
MSU vs. Alabama
SABAN BOWL! I want to think this is going to be really good, and close, and all that ... but to be honest, Alabama by three TDs.
Gator Bowl
Michigan vs. Mississippi State
THE WOLVERINES RETURN TO JANUARY 1! All the intrigue in this game is about what happens after it, i.e. does Rich Rod get fired. It actually might be the BEST game of the entire day in terms of the styles of the two teams.
Rose Bowl
Wisconsin vs. TCU
Nice strength vs. strength here. If I was Jim Tressel, I'd be a little worried about Wisconsin. They're starting to become a consistently legit program and some of those RBs are young. TCU? I'm just counting the days till Gary Patterson takes a bigger gig.
Fiesta Bowl
UConn vs. Oklahoma
Would not surprise me at all if UConn hung this one, 25-24, on some trick lateral. Sadly, not.at.all.
Orange Bowl
Virginia Tech vs. Stanford
Stanford grads are not traveling to this, even though Miami is a good destination in January. VT will flood this place. Harbaugh wins, has new job within 36 hours of game ending. YOU HEARD IT HERE FIRST.
Sugar Bowl
Ohio State vs. Arkansas
I think LSU vs. OSU woulda ultimately been a more entertaining game, but check this angle no one is referencing: Ryan Mallett was "a Michigan man" for a while, so there's that whole blood hatred thing ... although he's from Texas, so it's not that big a deal, really. This one is probably 26-24, like that Texas-OSU Fiesta, although because it's awkwardly in the middle of Jan. 1 and the BCS title, no one is even gonna remember ... except an entire state with over 25 electoral votes.
GoDaddy Bowl
Middle Tennessee State vs. Miami of Ohio
GoDaddy ads ... Big Ben went to Miami of Ohio ... there's probably a good joke somewhere here.
Cotton Bowl
LSU vs. Texas A&M
Could be an enormously entertaining game ... that again, most people will forget because of where it's slotted in the grand scheme of things. I hope Mike Sherman eats grass.
Compass Bowl
Pittsburgh vs. Kentucky
Two words to make this relevant: Randall Cobb. Also, one coach is named "Joker." Fun.
Fight Hunter Bowl
Nevada vs. Boston College
Nevada scores maybe the best upset win of the entire year ... and gets to play in a game that will be utterly overshadowed by the BCS title. BC has the most inspiring story of the year, possibly (Herzlich) and gets the same fate. People just don't care.
BCS National Title Game
Auburn vs. Oregon
A lot of points on da board, and a lot of bad Cam Newton jokes all over the place. Should be a fun time. I know one thing about this game for sure: The Duck is getting laid that night.
Join the Discussion